Wednesday, June 09, 2010

A Few Million Bodies Between Friends

from Fafblog
Well now. Israel, the Palestinians, and Gaza. It's a sad story, and we're terribly sorry about it all, of course, feeling pronounced Official Regret in our pronounced Official Regretbones, and we feel compelled at this juncture to demand a request for an investigation into the possibility of an inquiry into the formation of a select bipartisan panel looking into whether or not to request an investigation. Which would be conducted by Israel, of course. No need to get too pushy here.

Now, you might say this week's events represent an atrocity, a massacre, a savage and criminal slaughter of humanitarian aid workers by a paranoid, murder-happy police state to further prolong the suffering of a million and a half refugees penned up in an open-air concentration camp. And you'd be right. But what you'd be overlooking is the fact that Israel has a right to defend itself. In particular, Israel has the right to defend itself from the millions of non-Israelis stubbornly living on land seized from them by Israel. Indeed, every day the Middle East's Only Democracy finds itself surrounded by a deadly horde of beggars, children and amputees who would stop at nothing to live next to it, with nothing to defend itself but two hundred nuclear warheads and one of the best-financed militaries in the world. Who in that position wouldn't attack a flotilla of aid ships attempting to smuggle contraband food and terrorist medicine to the stockpile of potentially rogue humans in Palestine?

Indeed, it's only at times like this that we can fully appreciate the Special Relationship between Israel and the United States. For is there any other country in the world that can so fully appreciate Israel's dilemma? To be hobbled by money, power, and privilege, menaced on all sides in a world in which there are too many Palestinians in Palestine, an overflow of Afghans in Afghanistan, a dangerous surplus of Iranians in Iran, a grave and growing stockpile of Pakistanis in Pakistan, and only we - we! - have to courage and conviction to do something about it.

3 comments:

John Richards said...

Do you realize that people see your blog and view you as an asshole? You hide like a coward in a dark corner like a frightened dog. Not only do you reveal that you don't use your real name, have to admit that is very amusing. I like your comment above about Sarah Palin, you liberal freaks are so afraid of her :-) I'm going to laugh my ass off if she wins 2012. She has enough money to put your pussy ass over her knee and break you and your freaking liberal friends in half. You coward.

Nameless Cynic said...

Do you realize that people see your blog and view you as an asshole?

Only reasonable. I've been called (hell, I've been) worse.

You hide like a coward in a dark corner like a frightened dog.

Wow. I dare you to diagram that sentence. No, really, I dare you...

Not only do you reveal that you don't use your real name

Yes, I do. I'm named after my maternal great-grandfather, Nameless John the Pirate. My father, Horatio Cynic, is a noted professor in the fields of irrational physics and cheese-making.

You idiot.

(Here's a hint. Upper right corner.)

I like your comment above about Sarah Palin

Thank you. We do our best to entertain around here.

you liberal freaks are so afraid of her

Afraid? I giggle like a schoolgirl every time she talks. The woman is a congenital idiot, like the love child of George Bush and Caitlin Upton.

I'm going to laugh my ass off if she wins 2012.

So what? She'd just quit 18 months later.

She has enough money to put your pussy ass over her knee and break you and your freaking liberal friends in half.

Yeah, I used to have fantasies like that, too. Do you mind if I have mine with someone hotter, though? She doesn't really do it for me.

You coward.

Says the man posting semi-anonymously on the internet. Yeah, come on down to Albuquerque, little man. I'll be happy to kick your ass. I'm in the book.

Nameless Cynic said...

And you know, it occurred to me after I responded, that your point might have been better delivered if you had, perhaps, responded to a post which I authored, rather than one of my Reader's Digest-style "stuff somebody else said" posts.

I mean, it isn't like I didn't attribute it to the original author or anything. It's right there at the beginning of the post. And usually in the title.

It's that reading comprehension issue, isn't it? That's the only reason Sarah Palin got the support she did. The dumbing-down of America.

(Hmm... is that what's behind George Bush's "No Child Left Behind" garbage? Just one more step on the road to Rove's master plan?)