reprinted from the Rude PunditIt's too soon to tell, but there's a good chance that Representative Alan Grayson, he of the "Die Quickly" Republican health care plan, will end up fucking your shit up. Too rich to be bought off, Grayson's been fucking with the powerful for a few years now. As an attorney, he represented whistleblowers, going after the hundreds of millions of dollars in fraud committed by contractors and others in Iraq. He told CNN in April 2006, "The development fund of Iraq was looted by war profiteers and war whores." Check out the huge ass article on him in Vanity Fair from 2007 (and check out that goatee). He went after Halliburton and KBR; he fucked with Dick Cheney. You think a man whose name is a homophone with "boner" is gonna trouble him?
Look, let's be clear: Grayson of Orlando, Florida, is something of a drama queen. Defeating an incumbent Republican in a previously solidly Republican district as part of the Obama wave in 2008, he's an attack dog straight out of old school progressive politics. Here he is in January on President Obama's stimulus plan: "It shelters the homeless, and it heals the sick. It helps us to look forward to a day when we beat our swords into plowshares, our spears into pruning hooks, and when a nation does not lift up a sword against nation anymore." It's a bit over the top, like his Holocaust remark yesterday and his demand that AIG's CEO "name names" of those who received bonuses.
But sometimes those kinds of dramatics can be absolutely energizing, like the second shot of cheap tequila, as when Grayson said, "Rush Limbaugh is a has-been hypocrite loser, who craves attention. His right-wing lunacy sounds like Mikhail Gorbachev, extolling the virtues of communism. Limbaugh actually was more lucid when he was a drug addict. If America ever did 1% of what he wanted us to do, then we'd all need pain killers."
And this dude knows how to apologize to right-wingers. Pushed by Michael Steele to beg forgiveness from Limbaugh like so many Republicans did, Grayson offered, "I’m sorry Limbaugh called for harsh sentences for drug addicts while he was a drug addict. I’m also sorry that he’s bent on seeing America fail. And I’m sorry that Limbaugh is one sorry excuse for a human being."
Grayson was the member of Congress who authored the grandly symbolic bill attacking executive compensation in the financial firms now owned by all of us, also known as the "Pay for Performance Act," currently somewhere on hold in the Senate after passing the House in April. This would be back when "populist anger" was actually about people against corporations, which, of course, meant conservatives thought it was wrong. Grayson said, "You should not get rich off public money, and you should not get rich off of abject failure... This bill will show which Republicans are so much on the take from the financial services industry that they're willing to actually bless compensation that has no bearing on performance and is excessive and unreasonable. We'll find out who are the people who understand that the public's money needs to be protected, and who are the people who simply want to suck up to their patrons on Wall Street."
The bill caused Fox "news" host Neil Cavuto to lose his shit on the air with Grayson, to the point where Grayson said that Cavuto was conjuring a "paranoid fantasy" about the implications of the bill. Cavuto cursed and spat while Grayson looked like he was wondering if he was going to have to grab Cavuto's jaws to keep him from biting.
Since Grayson said that the Republican plan for health care is "Don't get sick" and "Die quickly," Grayson has become this week's punching bag for conservative wads of fuck who want to equate his words with Rep. Joe "Insert Banjo Music" Wilson's loud "Don't lie" fart during the President's health care speech. Beyond the hypocrisy of the death panel people saying someone's being too mean, it should also be pointed out that Grayson didn't just bray out of nowhere like he was getting fucked by a donkey. He was recognized and speaking in turn. Robert's Rules of Order don't say anything about whether or not a speaker can drip with savage sarcasm.
Yesterday, on The Situation Room with Wolf "Bow Down Before the Sartorial Magnificence of My Beard" Blitzer, the gathered CNN superfriends couldn't comprehend Grayson, as if anger and honesty coming from a Democrat is some unknown species of rhetoric. "They should apologize to America," Grayson said of Republicans calling for him to beg forgiveness. He may as well have said, "Suck my balls."
The best part was when designated Republican Alex "Douche 'Stache" Castellanos asked Grayson which people does the Congressman think he wants to die. Grayson went right back at him, calling Republican ideas "amorphous nonsense," and "Do you really think that tort reform is going to take care of 47 million people?" By the point that Grayson said Republicans were just using the "usual cliches," Castellanos had the look of a straight man who was just shown the cock that was going to fuck him.
It was truly something beautiful because Grayson walked into Wolf Blitzer's house, drank his whiskey, and took a giant shit on CNN's floor. The pundits from Carville to Castellanos to Borger didn't know what the fuck to do with this guy who wasn't going to play by the usual rules of suck up and pander and call for bipartisanship like other Democrats. The closest they've gotten is the occasional Barney Frank appearance, but Grayson is something different, a Democrat who not only has his own balls, but is ripping the nuts off others. "They've been dragging their feet. These -- these are foot dragging, knuckle dragging Neanderthals who think they can dictate policy to America by being stubborn. And I think it's -- the time is over. We had an election. That's it. Now we have to move ahead in just the way the president wants us to," Grayson said, and, oh, the sputtering that happened.
James Carville asked Grayson at the end if he was ready for how his life was going to change. What ought to be happening is that Democrats should be using Grayson as their point person, sending him out to take a wrecking ball to the stick houses of arguments Republicans keep constructing. Republicans have never known how to deal with it when someone fights back with the same brutality they use. Grayson just pointed out that motherfuckers fuck their mothers. It's that simple.
11 comments:
Small brain... Vocabulary of a sloth... Yeah, that’s a liberal blogger. You have to admit though, it took a very small mind to write this stuff, but then it took a much smaller mind to see it needed amplification. Conflate the two and you have a glorious moribund mix of sycophant lefties.
"vocabulary of a sloth"? What, pray tell, do you mean by that particularly unenlightening metaphor? If you are trying to imply that the Rude Pundit has a "lazy vocabulary" (after all, the common tree sloth is frequently employed as a metaphor for, well, sloth, due to the lower speed at which the hirsute metazoan travels), then you are undoubtedly mistaken: you rarely see a conservative site using terms such as "homophone" or "sartorial."
Instead, I see here a writer who glories in the joys of the English language; an active, involved author who takes delight in a cunning turn of phrase or particularly apt aphorism.
To deny a writer the occasional use of profanity simply because you find yourself getting faint at the merest thought of such vulgarity is more a reflection on your weakness of spirit than on his voluble and discursive narrative.
("Profanity," incidentally, is a fascinating word in and of itself. It is derived from "profane," which has a specific religious meaning - from the original Latin pro fano, "outside (in front of) the temple." Logically, therefore, it is actually a misuse of the term to apply it to such useful Anglo Saxon idioms as "fuck.")
So, to be honest, if your panties get knotted up from the directness of the language used here, you should probably go back to your little knitting group, because I have no plans to tone down the discourse simply because you feel faint over the coarse tone of the site.
Welcome to the 21st Century, Grandma.
"glorious moribund mix of sycophant lefties"
So this is a magnificent, yet somehow declining, group of left-handed flatterers? Who's being flattered?
You just aren't very good with the English language, are you?
Screw 'em.
Brevity and directness have their advantages.
"So, to be honest, if your panties get knotted up from the directness of the language used here, you should probably go back to your little knitting group, because I have no plans to tone down the discourse simply because you feel faint over the coarse tone of the site.
Welcome to the 21st Century, Grandma."
Ah, the irony. Aren't you the same blogger who threw a fit and deleted someone's reply because they made a joke about you and another poster having anal relations? Come on, Aimless. You are reaching new realms of hipocrisy.
I do have to remark about this Crude Pundit person's attempt at logic. Crude Pundit seems fixated (and I don't use that term mildly) with bodily functions and homoerotic/S&M imagery: "suck my balls", "fuck your shit up", "take a giant shit on CNN's floor", ""ripping the nuts off others." And my favorite: "...the look of a straight man who was just shown the cock that was going to fuck him."
Project much? But what has the Rep. done in terms of legislation?
Oh, and I am not making judgements about others (unlike Aimless is prone to do), if Crude Pundit wants to talk about shitting and balls, he has every right. And those are obviously topics he enjoys and knows thoroughly.
Now, I usually don't like to bring up the physical attributes of individuals, however since the host of this blog likes to point out physical aspects of posters and national figures, I will allow myself to do the same in this instance. Immediately upon seeing
Rep. Grayson, the question that had plagued TV viewers for years had finally been answered: Whatever happened to Lumpy Rutherford (Frank Bank).
As Rep. Grayson used his posters on the floor of the house (blatantly ripping off the tactics of H. Ross Perot...however, at least Perot's were mildly interesting, and had actual statistical documentation to back them up), one couldn't help but see Lumpy Rutherford...with a bad comb-over.
So as Lumpy (I'll use that term for him, as it's so much more polite than the other fitting term that comes to mind: Fat Fuck) was rythymically shuffling through his cue cards, ripping off INXS' video "Mediate" (he should have had that oboe player come out while he was going through those cards) another question arose: Why would Republicans want old people to die? Aren't most conservatives elderly?
Pat Riot
Anyway...Lumpy refers to health care in the U.S. as the holocaust. Nice...he's supposed to be Jewish and he uses a term like that? Lumpy might want to read a little history or perhaps talk with some veterans/survivors of the late 1930's and 40's before making such ridiculous statements (morally, that's as bad as the host of this blog making comments about murderers being "hunters" and then pointing out that he's absolved because his column has the word cynic in the title).
So now Lumpy has refered to a womn as a "whore". Nice. He's also stated he was an "economist". Please, that's like calling Aimless a "war hero". Just because you have a title for a couple of years (some 25 years ago) doesn't make you an expert.
Perhaps the silliest part of this piece is the statement that Grayson is "Too rich to be bought off..." This clown obviously hasn't followed politics for long. All members of congress can be bought, and if you think otherwise, you are fooling yourself.
Regarding the goatee, it looks more like the business end of a toilet brush (and with the filth that comes out of Lumpy's mouth it may very well be that). You remember toilet brushes, Aimless? You handled them (and more than likely a few other things) in the base latrines when you were defending our rights to say what we want, without fear of deletion.
Pat Riot
Wow, Pat. You really do have some issues, don't you?
You seem to be fixated on toilets, despite the fact that most branches of the military allow housekeeping to deal with them anywhere past basic training. Are there issues in your childhood that a good counselor could help you with? Did you have potty training problems that still plague you? I'm sure we could help, if you'd just admit to your problem. But as long as you're in denial, there really isn't much we can do.
Aren't you the same blogger who threw a fit and deleted someone's reply because they made a joke about you and another poster having anal relations? Come on, Aimless. You are reaching new realms of hipocrisy.
Huh. That was you? All this time, I was assuming that it was Eric, posting anonymously, as is his wont, adding nothing to the debate and randomly insulting Dio. And really, since Eric suddenly started posting under his own name since then, I'm willing to assume that it was him, and you're just being a snide, passive-aggressive bottom, as is your wont.
You know, since I allow anonymous posts, I have to go with the available evidence. So I'm pretty relaxed with how things have worked out.
Project much? But what has the Rep. done in terms of legislation?
Here you go. Do your own homework on the freshman senator. I'm not holding your hand for everything, you lazy bastard. Tell me if you turn up anything interesting.
Wow, "Frank Bank"? (He's still a broker in LA, as far as I know, btw.) I'd say that "Jay Leno" might be a more accurate physical representation. And Grayson isn't actually all that fat, either. You really aren't very good at this whole Don Rickles thing, are you?
Why would Republicans want old people to die? Aren't most conservatives elderly?
Wow. False comparisons - what a surprise, coming from a logical, responsible debater such as yourself. Demographically, many older voters count themselves as Republican, but not all conservatives are old. You should probably know that, since you point out these issues on your own. But then again, you only do it when it serves your strange ideological purpose. (I mean, I wouldn't want to say that you're a dishonest fuck based on just this one instance, but I'd have to say that the data is piling up...)
And you're upset because Grayson referred to a lobbyist as a "whore"? Do you have a better description? Hell, I'd probably have gone with "HIV-positive K-street whore" in the same situation, so I think he showed admirable restraint.
Regarding the goatee, I'd say he looks more like a bit player in a bad western, but that's just me. (I think I've already mentioned you're interesting potty-training issues, right? You know, we can probably get you help with that...)
"You seem to be fixated on toilets".
It doesn't happen often, but you do have a point there. I do bring up the subject of toilets quite frequently. There must be a Freudian answer to this...let's see...When I read your postings I am inclined to think of fecal matter. That must be it, your crappy blog is what leads me to think of toilets. Much in the same way you think of men's physiques when you comment (in sometimes deeply homoerotic detail) on people like Joe the Plumber and reply to posters with homoerotic responses...you know, buttplugs and the like (and that's ok...it can be demeaning at times, but it's fine if you are into that sort of thing).
What difference does it make whose post was deleted? The principal is that you type drivel such as this:
"So, to be honest, if your panties get knotted up from the directness of the language used here, you should probably go back to your little knitting group, because I have no plans to tone down the discourse simply because you feel faint over the coarse tone of the site.
Welcome to the 21st Century, Grandma."
Then you go and delete someone's post because it mentioned (In jest I am sure...?) anal opportunities being shared by you and Diogofleas. You make stupid statements like the following:
"I mean, I wouldn't want to say that you're a dishonest fuck based on just this one instance, but I'd have to say that the data is piling up..."
Just because you aren't intelligent enough to understand something, there's no need to call someone dishonest and use such trashy language (especially when you delete other posts which offend you). Take your own advice: Grow up and get the wrinkles out of your panties...grandma.
And for God's sake, please stop refering to Diogofleas as "Dio". Sheesh, I read that and can't get the lyrics to "Holy Diver" out of my head.
Now, on to the rest of your...ummmm..rebuttal (no pun intended)...
Thanks for the link to Grayson's legilative career. Nothing really interesting there. The most noteworthy thing the goon has done has been to hide in his office from that menacing Griff Jenkins and his difficult(?) questions:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6895668
My favorite part of the piece: Grayson is sending out fundraising email. Now Crude Pundit claims Lumpy is wealthy (and apparently he is very wealthy). Why doesn't the goon just use his own money? He's a typical politician. Hasn't he heard that the economy (in spite of the stimulus is in the toilet...damn...another toilet reference. See what you libs do to my train of thought?)
Apparently Lumpy thinks that if a reporter waits outside your congressional office with a camera, that's an ambush. Hell, it's not even a reporter...it's Griff Jenkins!
Lumpy looks nothing like Jay Leno...but there is an uncanny resemblence to a bloated Steven Segal. Wait...bloated...Steven Segal. I know, that's redundant. He looks like an even more bloated Steven Segal. But Segal is more at ease in front of the camera, and actual makes more sense when he attempt to speak:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddum6D1tVxs&feature=player_embedded
Liberal Democrat Anthony Weiner (don't get excited...it's the man's name) even has Lumpy figured out:
http://www.examiner.com/x-14143-Orange-County-Conservative-Examiner~y2009m10d27-Alan-Graysonone-fry-short-of-a-happy-mealcalls-a-female-Fed-adviser-a-KStreet-prostitute?cid=exrss-Orange-County-Conservative-Examiner
"You really aren't very good at this whole Don Rickles thing, are you?"
Don Rickles is a comedic genius. I am flattered to even be mentioned in the same sentence.
Pat Riot
OK, I've thought it over and I will concede your point about Lumpy not being fat. Who am I to argue with you and your "in-depth" knowledge of men's physiques?
Pat Riot
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